the worst thing ever about being a working mom

Okay so most days being a working mom is fine. Somehow I manage to balance my kids, job, husband and a zillion other things just fine but then there are days like today where it is all really hard and most things come crashing down on my head. Why today you ask? well today started with me trying to negotiate with my oldest just to leave the house. Yes he was not on board with the "Mommy going to work and Daddy taking us to school" plan that the adults in the household derived so the convo of all convos ensued

Me: "Bye RJ, love you, I will pick you up today okay?"
RJ: "Where are you going mommy?"
Me: "I have to go to work love"
RJ: "No stay with me."
Me: "But RJ you have to go to school. Daddy is going to take you remember?"
RJ: "Dont leave mommy"

So this continued for a while and finally I give in and just wait so this way I will leave at the same time they are headed to school. In my head this way Im not technically leaving them and hopefully I dont leave a wake of tears and 4 year old tantrum for my husband to clean up.

Fast forward to everyone leaving. So now we are all about to head out the door and all i hear is "Mommy will Woody be in your car when you pick me up?" so here we go again. For those of you who ready my previous post about the Toy Story curse you should know there is no way this conversation is going to end well unless I say yes and since my husband was taking them and I am picking up so here we go again.

RJ: "Mommy will Woody be in your car when you pick me up?"
Me: "not if you let him ride with you in Daddy's car to school. Why dont we put him in my car now?"
RJ: "No mommy, i want him to ride with me to school and then you can get him from Daddy"

- Seriously we live together how hard should it be to get a woody and 2 kids to and from school? -

So this convo continued for awhile but there here comes the kicker. The one moment where I it becomes painfully clear that I dont have it all and my balance although it works isnt perfect. I get in my car adn am backing out of the driveway and RJ is yelling for me to stop. I do and he yells "Dont leave us mommy!" from the backseat of my husbands car still in the garage and it broke my heart.

I know there will be many days when I have to go to work or be apart from my children and I get that and I also have a great job that is more than understanding when I need to come in late or leave early to be with my kids but in that moment none of that mattered. All that I felt was the pain of knowing i broke my 4 year olds heart (even if only for a moment - because of course all was well by the time they made it the mile to school) and how his response in return broke mine. So yes today I will pick them up a bit early and hug them a bit tighter and do what I can to restore my balance.


Okay second worse thing about being a working mom. Having to cut out of work early because your kid is sick and feeling guilty for cutting out early and guilty for not being home with your kid already since he dosent feel well. Yeah can you tell today has been a gem all around but that's okay. Tomorrow I will get the chance to live in my organized chaos all over again and I am grateful for that :-)